The Perfect Time

Having a bad sense of timing taught me that there will be times that good timing does not exist.

I have been given uncountable chances in my almost 20 years of life and have wasted an uncountable number of those chances. Most of those wasted chances are just because I am afraid to seize a perfect moment. And after wasting a chance I bombard myself with happy thoughts as if I actually took the chance to that perfect moment. I would just smile or laugh to myself but it is really saddening.

Also, most of my wasted chances are the normal things in life.

I have wasted the chance to:
* smile
* laugh
* love
* appreciate someone

I do not want to waste another moment. I want to be happier.

Dying

Some dreams seem to be very true.

I dreamt of dying. That dream was different from all my death dreams before. It was a dream in a dream.

It was...

I was lying on my bed. I felt I am losing all of my senses. My sense of touch was diminishing, my vision was fading, my hearing was becoming impaired, my strength was going away. I tried to scream for help but I cannot. I was too weak. I told to myself that this was all a dream and then I woke up. But it had never ended there. I told myself that my dream was really happening and I tried to pinch myself but I cannot even lift my hand. My eyes were being tested if they are going to react with light but they did not. Then I saw myself from a mirror. I looked horrifying. My face was distorted. I felt very scared. I did not know what to do because I was thinking it was truly happening. And then I woke up...for real.