Madali akong makalimot kung sino ang may atraso sa akin. Pero iba talaga ‘to, ibang usapan kapag nagalit ako. Minsan ko lang naman i-claim na nagagalit ako. Pilit ko kasing iniintindi o kaya naiinis na lang ako. Hindi ko alam kung bakit sa kaibigan ko pa ako nakaramdam ng ganitong pagkayamot, pagkainis, pagkaasar, pagkamuhi, pagkagalit…
Tama. Nagalit nga ako. Hindi ako kuntentong sabihin na naiinis lang ako. Nagagalit ako. Hindi ko siya naintindihan. Ayaw ko siyang intindihin. Kahit gusto ko sa mga paliwanag hindi ngayon ang pagkakataon upang magpaliwanag siya. Ayaw kong tanggapin ang paliwanag niya. Not now…
NAGAGALIT AKO!!!
Nasaktan ako sa ginawa niya.
Ano nga ba kasi ang nangyari?
Nanghingi ako ng papel. Sinabi niya ibibigay niya sa akin pero hindi ko muna kinuha. Tapos may nanghingi ulit sa kanya tapos binigay niya sa iba yung papel na hiningi ko. Wala na. Wala nang papel. Sa harapan ko niya ibinigay yung papel na ‘yon.
Ang babaw ba? Hindi ko rin alam kung bakit ako nakaramdam ng ganoong galit. Hindi ko rin makalimutan yung pangyayari. Pakiramdam ko trinaydor ako. Ang lalim ng naramdaman ko pero ang babaw ng dahilan. Hindi pala mababaw. Simpleng pangako lang yun ng pagbigay ng papel sa akin. Naisip ko tuloy ang salitang priority. Priority. PRIORITY! Nauna ako. Binibigyan ko ng priority ang mga kaibigan ko. PRIORITY! Sana alam mo ang ibig sabihin ng salitang priority pati ang konsepto nito.
NAGAGALIT AKO!!!
Nasaktan din ako.
Fresh pa rin yung galit na nararamdaman ko sa tuwing naaalala ko yung nangyari. Masakit pa rin para sa akin kahit ilang buwan na ang nakalipas.
Hindi ko pa sinasabi na galit ako sa kanya. Ayoko lang. Kaya hanggang ngayon nagagalit pa rin ako.
*ang sama ko*
*pero naglalabas lang ako nang galit*
T_T
Saturday, May 05, 2007
Thursday, May 03, 2007
Facts 101
Wala kasi akong magawa habang nandito ako sa bahay kung hindi ang mag-surf nang mag-surf. Para naman gawing makabuluhan ang aking pag-surf magshe-share na lang ako ng kaunting kaalaman.
.:. The human brain is 80 percent water, more watery than our blood.
.:. In ancient China people committed suicide by eating a pound of salt.
.:. Cabbage is 91 percent water.
.:. The caterpillar has more than 2,000 muscles.
.:. The original name for the butterfly was “flutterby.”
.:. Humans are susceptible to a disease called the “laughing sickness.” People stricken with this disease literally laugh themselves to death. The disease is known in one place in the world, among the Kuru tribe of New Guinea.
.:. The color black absorbs heat. White reflects it.
.:. Men laugh longer, more loudly, and more often than women.
.:. A person who is lost in the woods and starving can obtain nourishment by chewing on his shoes. Leather has enough nutritional value to sustain life for a short time.
.:. The sun is 3 million miles closer to the earth during winter than summer.
.:. A thousand tons of meteor dust fall to earth every day.
.:. Clouds fly higher during the day than during the night.
.:. Rubber is one of the ingredients of bubble gum. It is the substance that allows the chewer to blow a bubble.
.:. A horse can sleep standing up.
.:. Up to the age of six or seven months a child can breathe and swallow at the same time. An adult cannot do this. (Try it.)
Source: David Louis. “Fascinating Facts.” Ridge Press/Crown Publishers, Inc.:New York, 1977.
.:. The human brain is 80 percent water, more watery than our blood.
.:. In ancient China people committed suicide by eating a pound of salt.
.:. Cabbage is 91 percent water.
.:. The caterpillar has more than 2,000 muscles.
.:. The original name for the butterfly was “flutterby.”
.:. Humans are susceptible to a disease called the “laughing sickness.” People stricken with this disease literally laugh themselves to death. The disease is known in one place in the world, among the Kuru tribe of New Guinea.
.:. The color black absorbs heat. White reflects it.
.:. Men laugh longer, more loudly, and more often than women.
.:. A person who is lost in the woods and starving can obtain nourishment by chewing on his shoes. Leather has enough nutritional value to sustain life for a short time.
.:. The sun is 3 million miles closer to the earth during winter than summer.
.:. A thousand tons of meteor dust fall to earth every day.
.:. Clouds fly higher during the day than during the night.
.:. Rubber is one of the ingredients of bubble gum. It is the substance that allows the chewer to blow a bubble.
.:. A horse can sleep standing up.
.:. Up to the age of six or seven months a child can breathe and swallow at the same time. An adult cannot do this. (Try it.)
Source: David Louis. “Fascinating Facts.” Ridge Press/Crown Publishers, Inc.:New York, 1977.
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Life isn't just another thing
I was still awake at 2 in the morning and I can hardly sleep because I thought I was going to die. And for several days now, I have thought of death and dying.
I even told Ayie, “I am going sleep. I might sleep forever.” I was half-serious that it would happen and half-nervous that it might will.
I put a serrated knife over my wrist thinking to slash it. I covered my head with plastic. I tried to strangle myself. I tried to hold my breath for quite sometime until I feel pain from my chest. When I was a kid, 5 years old or so, I thought of committing a crime so the government will put me in death row. And it was my dumbest idea and I never did it or planned it. But I am not suicidal. I still want to live because I still dream.
I am thinking of how it feels to be dead. I won’t feel hungry anymore. No more sweat. No tears. No peeing. I do not have to cut my nails. No more earwax. No more snot to be pulled. No more counting of days to my next period.
I can’t close my eyes when I tried to sleep. I felt extreme nervousness that I might die when I fell asleep. I felt my heart beating hard. I was afraid that time that I cannot fulfill the things that I have thought of for many years.
I fell asleep. Four hours later I woke up and “I am alive.” YES! I AM ALIVE! I thanked God for that. My life isn’t that almost perfect but it is fine. I still get to eat three times a day or more. I still drink potable water. I get to study. I have a bed. We have a happy dog.
I was born into this world to make others happy, to love, to dream, to make a move and to find the happiness I can’t give to myself. Living is such a brave thing to do. Being brave is facing your fears and finding the strength inside you thought you never have. Life isn’t just another thing.
I even told Ayie, “I am going sleep. I might sleep forever.” I was half-serious that it would happen and half-nervous that it might will.
I put a serrated knife over my wrist thinking to slash it. I covered my head with plastic. I tried to strangle myself. I tried to hold my breath for quite sometime until I feel pain from my chest. When I was a kid, 5 years old or so, I thought of committing a crime so the government will put me in death row. And it was my dumbest idea and I never did it or planned it. But I am not suicidal. I still want to live because I still dream.
I am thinking of how it feels to be dead. I won’t feel hungry anymore. No more sweat. No tears. No peeing. I do not have to cut my nails. No more earwax. No more snot to be pulled. No more counting of days to my next period.
I can’t close my eyes when I tried to sleep. I felt extreme nervousness that I might die when I fell asleep. I felt my heart beating hard. I was afraid that time that I cannot fulfill the things that I have thought of for many years.
I fell asleep. Four hours later I woke up and “I am alive.” YES! I AM ALIVE! I thanked God for that. My life isn’t that almost perfect but it is fine. I still get to eat three times a day or more. I still drink potable water. I get to study. I have a bed. We have a happy dog.
I was born into this world to make others happy, to love, to dream, to make a move and to find the happiness I can’t give to myself. Living is such a brave thing to do. Being brave is facing your fears and finding the strength inside you thought you never have. Life isn’t just another thing.